The advent of Facebook, Instagram and even LinkedIn has embedded the desire to be 'liked' into our world - both personally and professionally. It has enabled the measurement of how much our content is 'liked' and distributed the results for all to see across these platforms. Of course, the benefits of this rapid-fire dissemination of what is most 'liked' is the ability to filter various sources of information into a crude list along the lines of 'it is being liked a lot, therefore it must be good'. And yet...

Being 'liked' is not anywhere near the same as being 'valued'. Not in the same universe, actually. On a very personal level, think about how many people in your life 'like' you, versus the number that truly 'value' you. It's inner circle stuff, right? In your personal life knowing who values you gives you deep roots, doesn't it?

So if you are a card-carrying professional, if a choice was to be made, which would you rather be - liked or valued? And how do you make it so?

Valued professionals invest in deep-rooted relationships. They invest time with them. They try as best they can to understand the 'other' point of view. They are empathetic but not sympathetic. They provide advice that is honest. They provide advice that outweighs the cost of providing it. They give respect. And expect to receive it in return.

I don't think rainmakers worry about being 'liked'. They worry a great deal about being 'valued'. Frankly, I don't know of too many rainmakers that have a significant online presence. Sure, their business might have a significant footprint, and they'll have a personal profile and post occasionally, but it won't be their raison d'etre. I'm referring to the professionals at the top of their game, with high quality clients in competitive markets, who provide fearless, fast and full advice to sophisticated buyers. So how do you make this leap?

It's going to sound 'self-help-y' but it is true. Value yourself first. Have you honestly ever met anyone that is professionally successful that didn't feel they were pretty darned good at what they do for a living, and were willing to back themselves doing it? Expect to be valued. [Tip: Think about the best thing you've done for a client in the last year - what was it, why did it matter, what were the benefits, what did you learn, and why should you be proud of it?]
Work harder at developing meaningful relationships. Stop trying to be liked. Find clients that truly value you and spend as much time as is necessary to understand them. To help them. Offer more than what you were asked for. Give them the best you can. [Tip: Think about a close relationship that could be made even closer if you were to invest 3 hours with them at the start of the calendar year reviewing their business priorities and risks]
Be generous, but don't be taken for granted. The old phrase 'what goes around, comes around' is an old phrase for a reason - it's true. Give a lot and you'll reap the benefits. Not worrying about being 'liked' doesn't mean not being nice. Giving insights generously, offering to review a problem before charging for the solution, and, importantly, then asking for the business are all ways to cross the bridge from 'liked' to 'valued'.